[ he's only just starting to understand how hard it must be for her.
how it's all the time and she has to concertedly block it out just to be able to get on with her day to day life. is it any wonder she's struggled to know where she belongs, with the living or the dead? it's hard to toe the line and find yourself thrust in both worlds. impulsively, rafe reaches out, his hand lifting to settle on top of hers. it's something about the softness in her smile, or just how she laughs even if he knows there's nothing amusing about it. ]
It's the least I can do. I'm just sorry that it's hard.
[ he wishes it wasn't, but it's precisely because of how difficult it sounds he has to ask, even if a part of him doesn't want to. ]
Are you sure? [ he's never heard of anyone successfully bringing someone back from the dead, but. he also wants to be sure it's something she won't regret. ]
[it's hard to describe to another person, and it's been this way for her for such a long time.
she's used to it. she's used to waking up in the middle of the night with a ghost over her bed or stepping into school to find someone crying for help right then, right there. kasey looks over at his hand as it settles over her own, and she lifts her gaze to meet his before she swallows a bit thickly, turning her hand in his
locking their fingers together.]
Yeah, I'm sure. The in-between isn't any place to have to be. He's been the same age ever since I've met him, and I've... gotten older. My life keeps changing, and he has to be static. It's not fair.
[it's not fair to hold on just because it's hard, just because she cares about him, and she knows sean doesn't want to go, but- what comes after is so much peace.]
there's magic in his family, even if he's not in possession of it. the ability he is in possession of isn't one that he'd ever want, but he understands, to a degree, what it's like to have something you wish you could turn off and you can't. being able to manipulate and sense and create fear the way he can means he knows what everyone is scared of at all times if he doesn't tune out. and it took him a very long time to learn how to tune it out. sometimes he still can't.
he doesn't sense much fear in kasey, not even now. maybe just a lingering, bittersweet understanding. it's why his fingers squeeze hers once she locks them together. he'd want her to know she isn't alone. ]
And he feels the same way, too?
[ 'cause unless he's a hundred percent on board, nothing they discover is going to help him cross over. he has to want to. ]
[when you get used to weird shit, it's hard to be scared by it anymore. kasey is sure one day something will happen she hasn't seen before, and then the fear will come as swiftly as if it had been waiting in the shadows for something to be scared of. but she is not afraid very easily. and she wouldn't want to be especially if it's something he has to deal with. she'd rather he not have to worry about her feeling fear.
there's a steadiness to her, and she bites down on her bottom lip as his fingers squeeze hers. and she breathes in sharp thinking of how wonderful that feels, this touch right now. her gaze drifts up from their hands tangled together to meet his]
I... don't know. I don't think he knows what it's like to feel peace, which is why giving him an answer might help with that.
[and maybe it won't either. maybe she'll have to fight with him on it, and she hates the thought of that more than she can say.]
[ it's certainly a word he'd use to describe her. steady. she's a rock, but then, she's had to be. she's lived with it so long that the other alternatives are probably not ones she'd accept. maybe it's part of why he's decided so certainly to help her. if there's anything he can do to shoulder some of that weight, even just the tiniest bit of it, he'd want to. this case must already be hard enough on her just from being so personal. he can do most of the legwork if it gets sean some peace.
hopefully, it means it gets her some peace, too.
he lets out a shaky breath, not unaffected by her touch. his gaze is drawn to their hands, only tearing away from them at the sound of her voice. he gives her a tiny smile then, mirthless but genuine. warm. ] I hope so. And I really didn't mean to bring the conversation down.
[ there's a laugh that's almost self-deprecating, but he's determined not to end it on a painful note. ] How's your food?
[ they're almost done with it, which means more on the roadness. :') ]
[kasey doesn't always feel steady but it's how her life has built her into being steady, steady as a rock. but she appreciates having his support and his help in this. it's made a huge difference in her being able to move forward with what she knows needs doing.
she sends her a tiny, slow smile at what he says and then she shakes her head.] No, you didn't, and I don't ever really mind talking about serious things. I mean it's why we're out here so it's good to talk about it. I mean that.
[she's someone that really doesn't mind heavy conversations. they're important sometimes. if something's on his mind, she'd want to hear it so she's glad he brought it up.]
It's delicious and cheesy, and I shamelessly... mostly ate the grilled cheese. [she smirks] What about yours?
[ rafe finally releases a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. it helps to know that it's okay to talk to her about this - that it doesn't make her uncomfortable or sad. ] As long as you know it goes both ways. [ rafe would always want to know if there's something on her mind, or something she needs addressed.
honesty is very important to him.
a small, light smirk spreads across his lips, glancing over at her plate. ] Isn't that the most important part of the meal? [ the answer is always cheese. he laughs, though, because it's cute and he can't help noticing every time she's cute. he asks for the check as the server walks past. ]
Amazing. It had like a pound of meat and then some. It would horrify my mom.
[kasey sends him a warm smile at that before she nods, taking the final bite of her grilled cheese. there's some soup left still but ahem she's full] I really do. Thank you. [she thinks it's part of what gave her the courage to move forward with all of this
to know she has people in her life she can talk to. and she does now because of sarah and rafe.
she laughs a little bit, wiping her mouth with the napkin, shaking her head with a tiny smirk] I think in my own mind it definitely is the most important part of the meal, yeah.
Well, I'll be sure to keep it a secret for you so as not to horrify who is most certainly a very lovely woman.
[ those warm smiles of hers are really beautiful. he's distracted momentarily by it that he almost forgets what she's thanking him for, but he's glad he doesn't, because it's important to him that she knows. she isn't alone anymore, and he'll help as much as he possibly can. ]
When it comes to the soup, definitely. In general, for me it's always the meat.
[ he loves meat so much. )8
rafe ducks his head with a small laugh, but he doesn't disagree. his mother is a very, very lovely woman and he's lucky to have her. ] I appreciate your discretion. [ when his head lifts, there's a tiny smirk on his face ] You ready to go?
I could tell. You were really, really into that meat.
[kasey looks amused about it though. it's an impressive appetite he has going on for him.
her smile widens when he ducks his head with that small laugh, ducks his head like that, and she glances down at the table before she lifts her gaze back up to him again. kasey nods in confirmation getting to her feet.]
Ready as I'll ever be. [but it helps
it helps to know she won't have to face what lies ahead alone]
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how it's all the time and she has to concertedly block it out just to be able to get on with her day to day life. is it any wonder she's struggled to know where she belongs, with the living or the dead? it's hard to toe the line and find yourself thrust in both worlds. impulsively, rafe reaches out, his hand lifting to settle on top of hers. it's something about the softness in her smile, or just how she laughs even if he knows there's nothing amusing about it. ]
It's the least I can do. I'm just sorry that it's hard.
[ he wishes it wasn't, but it's precisely because of how difficult it sounds he has to ask, even if a part of him doesn't want to. ]
Are you sure? [ he's never heard of anyone successfully bringing someone back from the dead, but. he also wants to be sure it's something she won't regret. ]
no subject
she's used to it. she's used to waking up in the middle of the night with a ghost over her bed or stepping into school to find someone crying for help right then, right there. kasey looks over at his hand as it settles over her own, and she lifts her gaze to meet his before she swallows a bit thickly, turning her hand in his
locking their fingers together.]
Yeah, I'm sure. The in-between isn't any place to have to be. He's been the same age ever since I've met him, and I've... gotten older. My life keeps changing, and he has to be static. It's not fair.
[it's not fair to hold on just because it's hard, just because she cares about him, and she knows sean doesn't want to go, but- what comes after is so much peace.]
no subject
there's magic in his family, even if he's not in possession of it. the ability he is in possession of isn't one that he'd ever want, but he understands, to a degree, what it's like to have something you wish you could turn off and you can't. being able to manipulate and sense and create fear the way he can means he knows what everyone is scared of at all times if he doesn't tune out. and it took him a very long time to learn how to tune it out. sometimes he still can't.
he doesn't sense much fear in kasey, not even now. maybe just a lingering, bittersweet understanding. it's why his fingers squeeze hers once she locks them together. he'd want her to know she isn't alone. ]
And he feels the same way, too?
[ 'cause unless he's a hundred percent on board, nothing they discover is going to help him cross over. he has to want to. ]
no subject
there's a steadiness to her, and she bites down on her bottom lip as his fingers squeeze hers. and she breathes in sharp thinking of how wonderful that feels, this touch right now. her gaze drifts up from their hands tangled together to meet his]
I... don't know. I don't think he knows what it's like to feel peace, which is why giving him an answer might help with that.
[and maybe it won't either. maybe she'll have to fight with him on it, and she hates the thought of that more than she can say.]
no subject
hopefully, it means it gets her some peace, too.
he lets out a shaky breath, not unaffected by her touch. his gaze is drawn to their hands, only tearing away from them at the sound of her voice. he gives her a tiny smile then, mirthless but genuine. warm. ] I hope so. And I really didn't mean to bring the conversation down.
[ there's a laugh that's almost self-deprecating, but he's determined not to end it on a painful note. ] How's your food?
[ they're almost done with it, which means more on the roadness. :') ]
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she sends her a tiny, slow smile at what he says and then she shakes her head.] No, you didn't, and I don't ever really mind talking about serious things. I mean it's why we're out here so it's good to talk about it. I mean that.
[she's someone that really doesn't mind heavy conversations. they're important sometimes. if something's on his mind, she'd want to hear it so she's glad he brought it up.]
It's delicious and cheesy, and I shamelessly... mostly ate the grilled cheese. [she smirks] What about yours?
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honesty is very important to him.
a small, light smirk spreads across his lips, glancing over at her plate. ] Isn't that the most important part of the meal? [ the answer is always cheese. he laughs, though, because it's cute and he can't help noticing every time she's cute. he asks for the check as the server walks past. ]
Amazing. It had like a pound of meat and then some. It would horrify my mom.
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to know she has people in her life she can talk to. and she does now because of sarah and rafe.
she laughs a little bit, wiping her mouth with the napkin, shaking her head with a tiny smirk] I think in my own mind it definitely is the most important part of the meal, yeah.
Well, I'll be sure to keep it a secret for you so as not to horrify who is most certainly a very lovely woman.
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When it comes to the soup, definitely. In general, for me it's always the meat.
[ he loves meat so much. )8
rafe ducks his head with a small laugh, but he doesn't disagree. his mother is a very, very lovely woman and he's lucky to have her. ] I appreciate your discretion. [ when his head lifts, there's a tiny smirk on his face ] You ready to go?
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[kasey looks amused about it though. it's an impressive appetite he has going on for him.
her smile widens when he ducks his head with that small laugh, ducks his head like that, and she glances down at the table before she lifts her gaze back up to him again. kasey nods in confirmation getting to her feet.]
Ready as I'll ever be. [but it helps
it helps to know she won't have to face what lies ahead alone]
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